When is it fine for women to exploit themselves to men, for the sake of materialistic benefits or financial stability?
Blessers or sugar daddies have been around from as far back I can remember (older men who thrive on young girls or inexperienced women for sexual favors in exchange of lavish lifestyles. Over the years the phenomenal of blessers have become a house hold brand. Young girls are going to the extremes to find men who are willing to take care of them. Women who burned their bras (feminism) are turning in their graves, of what women of today have settled for, being used as cheap thrill sex objects. It’s not the men willing to go the extra mile to find this vulnerable women or girls, but women advertising themselves .
I blame ” Fifty Shades Grey” and the women who exploit themselves to this men. This time I’m not pointing or blaming men, but the women who are willing and able to be undervalue for money, fancy holidays, expensive clothes, job promotions and fancy cars.
When I grew up,my aunt, who raised me was very strict. I wouldn’t come back from school with money or a gift, that I couldn’t explain where it came from and what was the reason they gave me the gifts. If the story did not go well with her. I will have to throw away my gift or she will take that money, and donate it to whoever. That didn’t stop until up my teenage years. I never got money from a boyfriend or expect a man to take care of my needs. My teenage years I started to work on weekends and holidays to maintain myself.
So, poverty or being poor is not a “free pass ticket” to exploiting yourself as a woman. Eventually, I ran away from home, when I was turning 18 years. Squatted with friends and I was still working, any job was fine ( worked as a domestic worker living in) and I had a place to stay and money. That was in Sea Point, the friends who introduced me to Sea Point all passed away (fast life and terminal diseases ). In Sea Point in was the heaven of Nigerian business men. Money was not a problem. But I just couldn’t see myself being taken care by a man (what was in it for me). At a young age I was sexual abuse and as I grew up that trauma never went away, so I couldn’t see myself sleeping with a man I don’t connect or love. For me that would have been self rape. I promised whatever happened to me as a child wouldn’t be my future. Most women who I have met and spoke with started prostituting because of sexual abuse histories. And the thing with being a rape or sexual abuse victim, most of the times, it doesn’t happen once, it follows you. Prostituting for them was a way of saying, if this is my life of being a sex victim, I might as well gain something out of it.
(Is she exploiting herself. Or just give in to years of abuse?)
To me I always want to make sex beautiful and meaningful so, being a victim of sex was not an option, I wanted to fall in love.
So, my conclusion is, our young women need to grow mentally and be mentally intelligent, no man will treat you in a way you don’t want to, if you don’t let him. That money that a man can make to impress you, you can make double that, if only you can close your legs and open you mind.
We as women are very strong, and we have the abilities to heal ourselves , let’s not lose who we are to fit in. Sexual transmitted infections are on the rise, because this women don’t exploit themselves to one man, any man is a potential blesser who are married in most scenarios.
Women let’s stop exploiting ourselves, wanting what you don’t have is normal, but know the consequences of your actions.